The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
