Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
