Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
