the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
