Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
