there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
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