yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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