ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
