Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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