u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
