I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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