Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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