I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
