And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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