What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
