I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
