he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The adults are the big ones right?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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