More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
