And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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