if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
