I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hotel room ftw
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
