I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
