It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
