i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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