i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
