This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
