If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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