Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
