You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
