Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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