Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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