i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
