oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
