Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
