Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Shame - the story of my life.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
