He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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