would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
3pm strippers are depressing
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
