that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
