So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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