You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
