Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
