I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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