I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
