You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
