she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
