Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
we're so committed to being not committed
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
