i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
