32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Randomize
