I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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