Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
