drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
