i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
