and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
